We live in an age that celebrates self-sufficiency. Individualistic society has given us freedom of choice, endless possibilities, and increasingly comfortable private spaces. Yet, we feel more alone than ever before: time spent with others is decreasing, friendships are becoming rarer, and interactions increasingly occur through a screen.
The question is inevitable: are we really more independent or are we just giving up our humanity?
The Individualistic Illusion of Independence
During the twentieth century, the West has undergone a radical transformation. A transformation that seems to have reached its crucial stage today, in the first quarter of the new century. Perhaps for the first time in human history, sociality is no longer a necessity, but an option.
The modern individual is free to work from home, order food with a click, entertain themselves without leaving. What once would have been considered a condition of isolation is now an accepted model of life, even desired by some.
A world of individuals, not communities
But this apparent independence comes with an invisible cost. Digital connection is no substitute for human contact, and time spent alone is increasing without us realizing it.
The paradox is evident: technology offers us tools to be constantly connected, but the depth of physical relationships (even sentimental) weakens, and becomes a social problem. Global, I add: the UK now has
a minister for loneliness .
Thus like Japan.
The vanguard of this transfiguration, however, is not the country of the Rising Sun as you might think. It is precisely the United States, the cradle (paradigm) of the modern Western lifestyle. There is an extraordinary sociological analysis that I urge you to read, if you have time: it is this incredible piece on The Atlantic, by Derek Thompson. It makes you understand with lucid ferocity where we are headed.
The privatization of social life
Cities, once designed to encourage encounters, are becoming spaces of passage, rather than of aggregation. The decline of public places such as libraries, squares and clubs has made social life increasingly domestic. This is not just a matter of personal preference, but of a profound cultural change, amplified by technological progress and new housing models.
In parallel, entertainment has become increasingly individualized. If in the 50s even watching television was a collective experience, today streaming has made every viewing (even that of the most sophisticated cinematic works) a private matter. If once the bar was a daily meeting place, today it is often just a stopover point (or a pick-up point for takeout orders). The result? A world in which social interaction is progressively replaced by the comfort of isolation.
In an individualistic society, loneliness is normal
For many people, being alone is no longer a temporary condition, but a way of life. Studies show that younger generations spend less time with friends, go out less, and often find relief when social plans are canceled. Rising social anxiety and the emotional strain of physical interaction are making it increasingly difficult to connect with others.
Of course, despite this trend, loneliness is not synonymous with well-being. Studies show that Spending more time with other people leads to higher levels of happiness and satisfaction. But the problem is not only psychological: the decline of sociality is changing the way we see reality, influencing our public behavior (including our relationship with politics) and our ability to dialogue with others.
The echo of digital bubbles
The modern individualist does not only show structural differences in daily choices, but also in the way he interacts with the world. Public debate has fragmented into digital bubbles where everyone surrounds themselves only with opinions similar to their own. Real confrontation, the one that used to happen in the streets and markets, has been replaced by personalized feeds and discussions filtered by algorithms. Someone has managed to do with algorithms what the worst dictatorships could not do: fragment society into a thousand individual cells in which everyone is confined and isolated from others.
Self-imposed loneliness may be the most important social fact of the 21st century
The consequence is a more polarized world, where empathy for others is heading towards zero, and compromise becomes increasingly difficult. When the only space for interaction is a virtual environment designed to confirm our ideas, diversity of thought becomes the exception rather than the rule.
How do we (re)build a new sociality?
If individualistic society has brought isolation and fragmentation, the “answer” can only materialize in a reverse movement. The increase in café-bookstores, reading clubs, board-game cafés and smartphone-free initiatives could convince many people to reclaim spaces of sociality.
Perhaps the real challenge of the 21st century is not choosing between solitude and community, but finding a balance between individual freedom and human connection. Because, after all, sociality is not just an experience, but a fundamental need.
And even in a hyper-connected world, nothing will be able to replace the warmth of a real meeting for a long time to come.