Dear friends, I know that many of us spend hours and hours sitting and glued to the computer screen. Some work there, others spend their time between YouTube, video games and social media. You know it hurts, but maybe you don't know how much: even for your sex life.
A Chinese study (that I link to you here) has in fact discovered a disturbing link between time spent on the PC for leisure and the risk of erectile dysfunction. Yes, you understood correctly: your faithful digital companion could turn into a sneaky saboteur of your… analogue companion. Would you like to know more? Read on, and don't say I didn't warn you.
Sitting, you die
Imagine the scene: you are there, sitting in front of your beloved PC, watching yet another video of kittens or fragging like the damned (well, call me boomer, now. I also know the verb “fraggare”). You feel relaxed, happy, satisfied. But in the meantime, unbeknownst to you, something sinister is happening over there. Your little gem, abandoned to itself for hours, is slowly losing its power, its vitality, its desire to raise its head.
It's as if your trusty mouse, with all its clicking, is slowly gnawing away at your manhood. One click at a time, one hour of YouTube after another, until you are left without strength, unable to respond when duty (or rather, pleasure) calls you.
The Science Behind “Digital Castration”
The team of Chinese researchers used a technique called "Mendelian randomization" (don't make me explain what it is, trust me or learn more here) to identify causal correlations between the tendency to spend free time sitting in front of a screen and the probability of suffering from erectile dysfunction.
The results are alarming to say the least. Every additional 72 minutes spent using the computer for recreational activities they increase your chances of having trouble getting the flag pole up by more than three times, if you know what I mean. Three times, you read that right. It's like playing Russian roulette with your gun: the more time you spend on the PC, the higher the chance that the shot will miss.
The hormone disappeared
There is more. The scholars dug deep into the data, like a hacker trying to penetrate (Excuse me) an armored computer system. And they found another disturbing correlation: the more hours you spend messing around while sitting at the computer, the lower your levels of Follitropin, a hormone responsible for the production of male semen. Now let me explain, pairing with this news.
You got it right: while you sit there watching the latest episode of a TV series, your testicles are slowly going into hibernation. It's as if they were saying, “Oh yeah? Do you abandon me for a screen? So we'll go on strike, and see if you learn!”
More seated, less astute
It must be said, to be honest: the study does not explain exactly why the drop in Follitropin impacts erectile function. Researchers hypothesize that lower levels of this hormone may indirectly hinder the release of testosterone. But it doesn't matter: the fact is that the more time you spend on the PC, the more your snake risks turning into a spineless eel.
And don't think you're safe just because you prefer Netflix and the couch to sitting at your PC. True, the study found no causal link between TV and erectile dysfunction: but the impression is that the difference may be too subtle.
Never like now, the future is in your… hands. “He” is asking you for help. And you don't want to disappoint him, do you?